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Mon, 23 Dec 2024 22:57:06 GMT

My name is Burgess Periwinkle Bodaggit. Everybody just calls me Uncle Burgess because when I show up to their family gatherings, they think I’m related to them, even though they have no idea how. Am I a parent’s uncle or brother? No. Did I marry into the family?

Hell, no. I’m so gay that I’m the reason it was considered a crime until 1962 and a mental illness until 1973 even though I was born in 1960.

You’ll never get to know me because whenever I’m at a funeral afterparty or other festivity, I’m standing in the corner looking like I disapprove of all I see, eating more than all the other guests put together.

So I can never talk because my mouth is full of food that everybody else paid for and prepared. My ears aren’t, though and, boy howdy, do I get the tea.

It’s a good thing, too, that other people’s business is out there all over the place these days because I certainly have no life to speak of.

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 22:54:13 GMT

Hell, no. I’m so gay that I’m the reason it was considered a crime until 1962 and a mental illness until 1973 even though I was born in 1960.

So I can never talk because my mouth is full of food that everybody else paid for and prepared. My ears aren’t, though and, boy howdy, do I get the tea.

It’s a good thing, too, that other people’s business is out there all over the place these days because I certainly have no life to speak of.

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 22:52:34 GMT

Hell, no. I’m so gay that I’m the reason it was considered a crime until 1962 and a mental illness until 1973 even though I was born in 1960.

So I can never talk because my mouth is full of food that everybody else paid for and prepared. My ears aren’t, though and, boy howdy, do I get the tea.

It’s a good thing, too, that other people’s business is out there all over the place these days because I certainly have no life to speak of.